The Penthouse and the Outhouse

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May 6, 2013 by dixwah

The Penthouse

Israel Folau

Izzy a Wallaby?

Izzy a Wallaby?

There was an unmistakeable irony in the way Israel Folau and the Waratahs bullied the seriously horrendous Kings in Port Elizabeth at the weekend.

Last year, it was Izzy being taught weekly lessons as a ridiculously outgunned AFL player. Seems he took out 24 months of short-sleeved frustration on the ‘Giants’ of Super Rugby.

Folau’s effort on Saturday night wasn’t a one-off – he’s been consistently good this season, and there are justifiable calls for Wallabies selection.

It’s an interesting one. Folau could provide the attacking spark Australia needs to beat the British Lions next month, but is also a huge risk at the breakdown against the best in the business. 15 minute cameos appear the most likely solution.

Floyd Mayweather Jr.

$32 million doesn’t just get you the penthouse, it gets you the whole damn building. Yep, that’s the cheque headed Mayweather’s way after a clinical defeat of Robert Guerrero in their welterweight title bout.

Mayweather’s time upstairs is specifically money-based. The guy’s a grub. A knob outside the ring, which includes a domestic violence conviction. And despite an undefeated record with 44 wins, he’s critically unproven – if that’s possible – due to his dodging of Manny Pacquiao.

That’s a stack of coin though.

Rich jerk: Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Rich jerk: Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Chris Rogers

Yep, that’s two posts in a row where I’ve mentioned Chris Rogers. What you gonna do about it?

Run-machine Chris Rogers

Run-machine Chris Rogers

Of course, ‘Bucky’ (nice nickname that) got a gig last time after being selected in Australia’s Ashes squad. Now he’s gone and scored 214 for Middlesex against Surrey in County Cricket. Ed Cowan won’t be happy!

I still think Cowan and Warner are 1 and 2 at Trent Bridge, but more runs, and that loyal Victorian press corps, and anything can happen.

The Outhouse

Team Waterhouse

“Kick ’em when they’re down Dixie,” says nobody. What the hell is going on here? So many chronic penthousers stuck out the back in this mess.

Tommy? Can’t really see what he’s done wrong but he’s so on the nose at the moment he’s thereabouts.

Mummy? If she tells Tommy, she should tell Singo. Communication breakdown.

Fact: both Tommy and Mummy make too much money independently to risk anything silly for the sake of a few dollars.*

Singo? Man of the people. So much so he says he was going to bet 100K on her. Something the rest of us can really relate to. As for a conflict-of-interest: of course there’s a conflict-of-interest. The strange thing is it didn’t worry you for 35 years and 27 Group 1 victories. Man of the people indeed.

Joey? What happened Joey? Using your commentary as a guide, you wouldn’t know what day it is.

Robbo? Larrikin ex-hoop. I’d almost forgotten about him.

BROTHEL OWNER Eddie Hayson? I actually thought Hayson’s first name was Brothelownereddie for a while there. Can’t be a scandal without Eddie Hayson!


Racing scandal specialist Brothelownereddie Hayson

*I wrote similar comments from the womb concerning the Fine Cotton affair.

NSW State of Origin

Paul Gallen’s injured. Again. I actually enjoy sitting at the pub when Gal goes down. Queue drug rumours, state scandals, it’s fantastic goss. Robbie Farah’s next in line. Not so good.

Tim May

Yes, more cricket. Because AFL was extremely boring this week, that’s why. Anyway, seems poor old Maysie is the latest victim of the BCCI’s muscle flexing. The former Test offie was up for a spot on the ICC cricket committee (making it the ICCCC or International Cricket Council cricket committee, hmmm), before the BCCI made some calls promoting commentator Laxman Sivaramakrishnan. Siva in, May boned, and the East/West divide in international cricket ain’t going anywhere.

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