KP’s Boxing Day diary

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December 30, 2013 by dixwah

25 December

Christmas is normally a time with family and friends, but on tour it’s the opposite – Andy always forces us to get together as a squad.

On the present front, Mrs P bought me an awesome new watch, so with Swanny’s retirement, my two Christmas wishes came true. Thanks Santa.

26 December

Game day, a time of great excitement and anticipation, particularly with the huge crowd at the MCG.

My Test record proves I have also performed best on the biggest stages – Lord’s, Mumbai, Napier – and today was no different.
67 not out at stumps was very satisfying considering the rest of our middle order went missing (again). I’m not one for slagging teammates – I’ll leave that to pricks like G Swann – but I think some of our batsmen need to take a good, hard look at themselves. Without naming names, AC, MC, JR, IB and BS have left me with too much to carry this series.

Some post-stumps commentary said I was lucky to be dropped twice. To be honest there was a fair bit of thought behind it. Test cricket is a game for Test cricketers. I was dropped by George Bailey and Nathan neverheardofhim. Enough said.

Looking forward to sticking it out with the tail tomorrow.

27 December

A good day for us, although I was disappointed at a lack of support from the tail, which forced me to chance my arm a little earlier than I thought. Result – out for 71 trying to push Mitchell Johnson through mid-on.

This standard KP on-drive went slightly amiss

This standard KP on-drive went slightly amiss

Our bowling was excellent in response, and with some good fielding – including a great grab from me to remove the always-dangerous Chris Rogers – Australia is 9/164 and we are well in front.

28 December

There we go again. I know I may have said something similar throughout he series, but the rest of our middle order went missing (again). I’m not one for slagging teammates – I’ll leave that to pricks like G Swann – but I think some of our batsmen need to take a good, hard look at themselves. Without naming names, AC, MC, JR, IB and BS have left me with too much to carry this series.

I ended up with 49, with no chance of a deserved hundred. I trust Anderson and Monty’s batting about as much as I trust Peter Moores. I was unlucky hitting into the breeze.

There was a bit of huffing and puffing from their medium-pacer Mitchell Johnson after I pulled away when he was halfway through his run-up. I’m Kevin Pietersen, dickhead. When you’ve had an impact on a series of any importance you can come and banter with me. Midget.

Can we win the Test from here? Sure. 10 wickets – 200 runs. With foot marks and Australia’s left-handers I think my bowling could really have an impact. Did you know I used to be a bowler in South Africa?

I spoke to Cooky last night on the bus and he seemed receptive to my advice that off-spin could turn the match our way. KP is in the game.

29 December

Well wasn’t that a waste of time. The speech last night, rolling the arm over prior to play, stretching once we got out there. What does that pompous clown do? Bowls Joe bloody Root. Clap, clap Alastair. End result? That arseclown Rogers scores a hundred, Watson scores runs, and Tim Bresnan bowls 123 clicks.

It was a disappointing result. Where to from here? I always try to look for positives, even when we lose, but apart from my batting there’s no real tick. We now move to Sydney, a flat track with short boundaries. The perfect chance for a big score, Peter Siddle-permitting.

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