The Fanatics: What are ya?

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July 3, 2015 by dixwah

Fanatics cringe

“And the award for most clichéd Australian representation goes to…yep, they’ve done it again, The Fanatics.”

Most of the crowd politely applauds, apart from the front three rows, who, dressed in their canary yellow shirts and singlets, zinc on, stand as one, and sing in unison “We are the Fan-a-tics, we are the Fan-a-tics, no time for losers, coz we are the Fan-a-tics, of the world”.

(Note: the song would obviously be far more cleverer than that.)

Hello Wimbledon. And until the Ashes starts, well done, you have my full, undivided evening attention. Other than weekends, when there’s footy on. And Thursday nights I guess, with that new AFL game that just creeps up out of nowhere.

Week one at the AELTCC (buzz in if you know it), and again it’s the boorish, oafish behavior of Australians around Wimbledon making headlines.

No, not Lleyton, he’s a sweetheart these days. Kyrgios, a bit OTT, but that’s the Tourette’s. It’s the bloody Fanatics.

naff (verb)

naff (verb)

I had plenty of great ideas for a blog post taking the piss out of the Fanatics. There was the diary installment – and then I sang another hilarious song, and we even kept going after the ref (sic) called ‘time’.

I started on the Code of Conduct – 1. Remember where you come from – Turramurra. No Oi Oi Oi, that’s Adelaide bullshit.

It was all coming together nicely. But the polarising coverage of the group in the mainstream press pretty much did my job for me. Here’s what turned up in the New York Times:

“At the end of the day, if I can’t stand stand up and support the players, how is there going to be any atmosphere at the matches? How do you create that?”

That’s Gareth Fletcher, obviously either Gaz or Fletch when in uniform, a 27 year-old lead Fanatic from the Gold Coast. It’s this atmosphere specialist’s first Wimbledon. Who knows how Wimbledon has survived without his wisdom.

Ooooooooohhhhhhhh.......KNOB!

Ooooooooohhhhhhhh…….KNOB!

Even the journo eventually starts taking the piss out of Ozzie Gaz, with his retrospective one-liner about Jack Sock (you guessed it, “I should have told him to put a Sock in it”, get it?) copping a subtle backhand down-the-line.

“Even for the Fanatics, the best lines apparently come too late.”

The naff-o-meter doesn’t miss the chants in this 2014 video either. What’s that accent about?

Closing remarks your honour? Righto, I’m going to come straight out with it.

Hey Fanatics, stop ruining every fucking event in the world. Stop presenting Australia as some poor man’s (person’s) Barmy Army, with your Mighty Ducks rip-offs (quack…quack when Duckworth is playing). The fact is, it’s not about the athlete, it’s not about the experience, it’s about you. It’s tired, it’s low, and you come across as a pack of absolute tossers.

(Deep breathes)

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